One year ago today I lost my Dad and best friend to complications of dementia. As I reflect back on the series of events that took place up to his passing I feel intense grief that he did not ” go gently into the good night”. Yet I have come to understand that my desire for him to have slipped away gently was for my comfort as much as it was for my Dad. As selfish as that may be; I am human. However Dad needed to wrestle with the angles as his illness was sudden and in no way prepared for through both denial and a very powerful desire to live. I witnessed the wrestling match as I sat by his side in the hospice home. I can image the dialog my Dad had with the angels; he always was up to a good debate!
As I reflect this morning on those last days I wanted to create a way to honor my Dad today; an altar with his photo, a candle and perhaps a prayer. Then it came to me that the best way I could honor my Dad is not to light a flame created by a candle made of wax that will eventually burn out or have to get blown out. I have the biggest flame ever to invoke his spirit. The sun! I look to the sun as an eternal flame to my Dad’s life; not just today but every day. My Dad loved the sun and it was reflected in his sunny disposition and the twinkle in his eye.
So Dad this is for you, ” You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray…….”